With the birth of each child, I have felt a strong calling to be home with them, but finances have never allowed it, and I’ve never had the support of my husband or mentors in the desire. The birth of my third son coincided with the beginning of my two-year-old’s therapies. While on maternity leave, I was panicked about how to do it all while working full time. The thought of going back to work and leaving my children made me sad, but now going back to work would mean not giving him the treatment he needs. Surprisingly, my husband felt a peace about me staying home with boys this time.
When I was newly married, and looking for a career, I prayed a lot and was clearly led to my profession. I loved it. I would do it for free if I had to. I was very confused when, along with children, came a calling to walk away from what I loved and worked so hard for. Maybe it will be there for me later, but likely it won’t. I pray that somehow we will survive without the income, and I try to see value in what I do now for my children. God has big plans, and I just hope what I’m doing is part of them.