I came across this blog post the other day on Huffington Post, and as I read it, I felt like I was reading the story of my daily life.
I totally agree with the need for my husband to take a genuine, uncanned, interest in my life and pain, but what hit home the most was the internal struggle of completely contradicting feelings.
The day is so unpredictable, and so incredibly long. I want to spend every moment with my babies, but somehow not having the option of taking a break when I need it makes me focused on escape! My day is dedicated to them, but my mind is distracted, looking for other things to think about. Surely there must be more to my life than dirty diapers, half-eaten food, and failed attempts at behavior modification.
Not having a clear start, end, and break time makes the day my foreseeable lifetime. Not getting to see a project reach fruition in the course of the day, or even the week, can leave me feeling incompetent, and without a purpose.
When Daddy does get home, I can’t wait for that break I was aching for all day, but at the same time, my body aches to just hold my children without any task needing to be done, or behavior to be taught.
I need some scheduled silly time in, and then…. I will feel accomplished. :)